


Of Loyalty And Love

by Kiterie



Category: Naruto
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, RP, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-02-25
Updated: 2009-02-25
Packaged: 2017-11-28 04:39:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/670369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiterie/pseuds/Kiterie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes it's about loyalty and sometimes it's a little more complicated than that...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> RP written with Fuyu_no_akegata

Tenzou leapt through the trees, keeping an eye on Kakashi and trying to decipher if the other's injuries were serious. Despite the silver-haired man's assurances that he was fine, Tenzou couldn't seem to keep the worry at bay. They were still a few days run from Konoha and it was getting late enough he could no longer tell for sure if the sweat on the other's skin was exertion or something else. "Senpai?" he asked, landing beside Kakashi on the branch, matching his movements with the grace of having been partnered with him for several years now.

Kakashi made a noncommittal noise, almost but not quite brushing his partner away. He did, however leap to another branch, effectively ending the need for an answer, if only temporarily. He only had to make it home, make it home and report, complete the mission... it was the only coherent thought in his mind.

Frowning, he grabbed Kakashi's arm lightly, tilting his head to the side and motioning down to the floor of the forest. "We can't make it home tonight, let's set up camp before I'm too drained to do more than build a fire," Tenzou said, deliberately keeping the concern out of his voice. He would never insult his senpai by implying the man was either too weak to go on or too stupid take care of himself even if he was pushing himself too hard.

Kakashi stopped and blinked, as if only then realizing just how late it was, how far they'd traveled. Once he stopped, though, he seemed to lose all momentum, and even the few leaps to the ground were difficult, took far too much out of him.  The final drop jarred him and he couldn't control the swaying and near stumble as he moved toward his teammate.

Dropping his shoulder, Tenzou swung and arm around Kakashi and then quickly made a sign with his free hand and formed a bench. "Rest, I'll get camp set up." The tone bespoke none of his worry and as the porcelain mask clinked lightly at his waist he was grateful for all the training he had that allowed him to keep it from showing on his face.

Turning away he formed the necessary hand signs and wood sprang up from the ground to form a small cabin. Then he focused his chakra on making the woods in their immediate area thicker with a heavier canopy so it would hide their presence.

Moving beside Kakashi he offered the man his arm. "Come on let's get inside and eat something... think you have enough chakra left for a small fire jutsu?"

Kakashi hesitated, wondering if there were a polite way to get around the close contact, the aid and comfort Tenzou was offering, and decided no, there probably wasn't.  Then he started calculating just how rude he could get away with being to keep him away, although it was even harder to be mean to Tenzou than it was to ignore Gai; it was too much like kicking a puppy.

He sighed and gave in, not very gracefully, allowing the wood-user to lead him where he willed.  "Of course I do."  At least he thought he did.  Now, if he could concentrate long enough to use it, that was another question entirely.  He shook his head, trying to clear the annoyingly persistent double vision that was making even simple tasks difficult.

Tenzou knew the lie for what it was, but he wanted to see exactly how drained Kakashi was. It was a small jutsu that used almost no chakra so it shouldn't hurt the man even if he was extremely low, but it would tell him a lot if Kakashi failed. Even if he didn't Tenzou would be able to see things, like exactly how far his senpai had pushed himself if the man's chakra surged or faltered. Although, he was a little bothered by the fact that he was pushing Kakashi when he obviously needed rest.

He got them settled in front of the fire pit, and was a little surprised that Kakashi hadn't protested to him keeping hold of his arm, even after he helped him up. It irritated him a little that while Kakashi had used most of his own chakra, he himself was fine. But it had simply been the way things had played out. Tenzou had gone in to take care of the individual in question while Kakashi had watched his back. Really his senpai should have been the safer one but they'd somehow been discovered, he still wasn't entirely sure how that had happened, and Kakashi had, had to keep them off his back while he got from the kill point to their exit. There had been far too many and even as they'd both retreated and it had taken a lot for both of them to actually get clear. Once they'd reached the woods they'd been safe, the stone nin simply weren't able to keep up with them in the trees and they'd been able to eliminate them a lot easier at that point.

Kakashi sat heavily, almost falling the last foot, giving a little oomph as he landed, and took a moment to catch his breath, after.  He formed the hand signals, _tiger, boar_ and frowned when nothing happened.  His brow furrowed and he narrowed his eyes, moving his hands again, focusing his chakra and willing a flame into existence, then cursed as he missed the waiting tinder and the flame sputtered and died far too early.  He blinked dumbly, just staring at the pile of wood for a moment, trying to see exactly what went wrong.  He lifted his hitai-ate and concentrated, preparing to try again.

Reaching out, Tenzou pulled the hitai-ate down. "Be practical, Senpai, don't waste your chakra," he scolded lightly before pulling out a scroll. "After all, I do have other ways of starting a fire. Have to, since you're not always there." He smiled, made a quick hand sign, and picked up the tin of matches. "I know... how civilian."

He started the fire and pulled out the scroll for his bedroll before holding out his hand to Kakashi. "Don't even think of trying it, just give it here." If the other's chakra was too low to do the fire jutsu, if it was faltering the way it seemed to be then he shouldn't be doing any, not even a simple release.

Kakashi looked flatly at Tenzou a moment before reluctantly giving up the scroll.  "I'm fine, just couldn't concentrate for a moment.  I could have done it if you'd given me the chance." He was clearly sulking.  "Just a little tired... or something." He trailed off, mumbling and blushing.

"I'm sure you could have, Senpai," the brunet said, taking the scroll and setting it up beside his own. He didn't doubt the man could be stubborn, and quite possibly could have for that reason alone.

The cabin was small, only one room, since it was just the two of them and he hadn't wanted to expend more than the necessary chakra. It was always better to be cautious on S rank missions, especially if it was only two of you and one was injured. So, they'd have to make due with being cramped.

Once he had things arranged he pulled out his med kit scroll and started undressing. The ANBU gear was uncomfortable to try and sleep in and it hid minor injuries rather well. He stripped down to the bare minimum and was grateful Yuugao wasn't with them. She always stared, under the pretense she was making sure they weren't injured. He knew she enjoyed tormenting her male teammates however, and the occasional catcall or whistle 'to lighten the mood' only reinforced the fact. Although, he did watch Kakashi, the same as he would even the mouthy Yuugao, for injuries as the other undressed, it was a more discreet observance.

Kakashi began undressing as well.  It wasn't exactly standard protocol on a mission of this caliber, but sleep was a necessity, and they were already running short.  With the proper wards and Tenzou's camouflaging skills hiding their dwelling, it was an acceptable risk. His movements slowed as he pulled the armored chestplate from his body, and he realized he must have gotten some small injury that had been overlooked in the rush to fight their way free.  He still ignored it, though, because obviously if he hadn't noticed it until now, it couldn't be serious.  Finally he sat on the bedroll, in boxers and an ANBU singlet, the attached mask rolled down around his neck.

The small cut, normally wouldn't have caught his attention, and at first he wasn't entirely sure why it did. He had more cuts and scrapes on himself which he'd busily cleaned and patched up while Kakashi was still undressing. They were mostly healed over and he was scraping the dried blood off of the last one so he could put ointment on it when it occurred to him what was wrong with the one on Kakashi's shoulder. It was still bleeding and red, which he supposed could have been because the armor was rubbing against it but he doubted that.

Picking up the med kit, he moved to sit beside Kakashi. "Senpai, take your shirt off and let me put something on that cut." He didn't let the concern show on his face or in his voice. It seemed silly even to him to worry about such a small injury, but he was.

Kakashi turned his head around, trying to see the injury Tenzou was referring to, and saw just a hint of red against his pale skin, and frowned.  He reached down to pull the shirt from his body, wincing as he pulled it over his head.  "I don't know why you're bothering, Tenzou, it's only a small wound. I didn't even notice it until you brought it up."

"Because, I patched up all of mine and you can't reach this one. It's always better to take care of them before they get infected." It was practical and a lie, which were always the best because they were the least obvious.

Despite the concern niggling at him, he had to admit there was another advantage to cleaning the wound. And, had he been far more honest with himself he'd have admitted it, but as it was he ignored the voice in the back of his mind pointing out exactly how good Kakashi looked pulling the shirt up. The wince made it easier to focus on the wound and he squeezed a small amount of ointment onto his fingers before reaching out to rub it over the cut. He consoled himself that there was a clotting agent in oils as well as several various medicines that should keep it from getting infected. Laying a piece of dressing over it, he taped it up. "It's amazing how you always seem to get out of these things with barely a scratch on you..." _Even, if it does cost you most of your chakra. It probably wouldn't even do that if you weren't having to watch over your teammates._

Kakashi shrugged, barely suppressing the wince as he forgot and used his injured shoulder.  "I've gotten my share.  Depends on the mission I suppose."  Only with great effort was he able to not rub the scar across his eye.

"Yeah, we all do," Tenzou admitted, picking up the shirt and folding it. "So, what should we eat? We've got ration bars and..." he said, pretending to think for a moment,"..and ration bars." It was a short mission and it should have been easy enough to get something else if they wanted it so he hadn't packed anything else. "Unless you packed something more edible."

"Ration bars and dog biscuits," Kakashi deadpanned. He tossed a ration bar at Tenzou. "I snagged a few off one of the Rock nin, though.  Try that kind, they're not bad." He started nibbling on what appeared to actually be a dog biscuit, but left a ration bar out, unopened. He ate maybe half of whatever it was and started it on his canteen of water.

After studying the bar for a minute, Tenzou shrugged and took a bite. "Maybe next time we should skip on trying to get war plans or secret techniques from them and just steal their ration bar recipe," he laughed then shook his head. "Especially if those dog biscuits taste better than our ration bars."

"No joke.  They have one with dried fruits and nuts, and I'll eat that even if it _is_   a little on the sweet side." He shrugged and held out the other half of the biscuit. "It's peanut butter, if you want to try.  A little bland, but that's not always a bad thing." He flushed a little as he realized what he'd almost given away, one of the reasons he always carried a few in with his ration bars, since most of the ninken turned their noses up at the treats.

Tenzou chuckled softly, wondering at the way Kakashi's cheeks flushed, and took the treat. "As long as you don't ask me to sit, roll over or beg." The words were innocent and he'd said them without actually thinking about it. But, once the words were out of his mouth and he couldn't take them back, he realized how it could have sounded and blushed himself. Looking away, he bit into the biscuit. "They could use a little sugar but yeah not bad..."

"Yeah." Kakashi leaned back against the wall, eyes closed, sipping at the water, not touching the ration bar, yet.  He remained quiet, even for Kakashi, not even responding to the obvious bait with a sly jibe, occasionally slitting his eyes open enough to look around, still slouched against the wall.

Swallowing the last bite, the brunet picked up his own water and stared at it, something tickling the back of his mind. He drank a little and set it down beside the uneaten ration bar and then it clicked. "Senpai.... aren't you hungry?" The man should be starving and he other than downing his water he didn't appear to be.

"Not yet, really.  Maybe in a bit.  After I rest and drink, maybe."  He still stayed in place, eyes closed, looking slightly flushed, and when he did finally blink his eyes open, Tenzou could see how bright they were.

Tenzou frowned again and lifted a hand to Kakashi's forehead, not really thinking to ask the man for permission, it was warm to the touch. "Lean forward, Senpai." Chakra depletion should be causing a fever and if the only wound was a rather unremarkable scratch then it likely meant poison.

"I'm fine, just tired, Tenzou. Drop it, okay? I'll eat in a bit, so quit the babying, thank you..." Kakashi's voice was a bit gravelly and hoarse sounding, definitely weaker than it should be for such a level of crankiness and stubbornness as he was displaying.

"Stop being a baby then and pay attention to the symptoms," Tenzou muttered, then frowned and moved away again. "Sorry, Senpai. It's not my place to question you. If you say you're fine..." He took a gulp of water and tried to decide if he really was over-reacting. The man was impractical and stubborn but Tenzou didn't doubt his intelligence and the man was team leader so, it _really_ wasn't his place to treat him like some kind of genin.

Kakashi blinked up at Tenzou, very visibly trying to gather himself together to concentrate on what he'd just said. He finally shook his head a bit and turned around, still leaning against the wall. "Look for bruising and puffiness, and check my eyes.  If the pupils are smaller than they should be, I think we have a problem."

The reaction surprised him a little, his eyes widened slightly before he blinked and did as he was told. "It's raised and a little red, but not bruised." He touched it lightly and noted the way Kakashi flinched just barely. "Overly sensitive too."

He moved to sit in front of Kakashi and lifted a hand to the man's chin, studying his visible eye carefully. It was hard to tell, they looked almost normal but given the low light... Tenzou shook his head. "I think they might be... though it must be a slow acting poison."

"Let's hope it is, Rock poisons tend to be some of the more painful ways to go, and I'd sort of like to hang around a little longer, still have a few things to do, people to annoy, and all that."  Kakashi took a deep breath and slumped further against the wall. "I don't know about your pack, but if you don't have it, check in mine, I have three doses of one of the generic antidotes.  Should provide some relief, but if it gets too bad, you'll either have to get me back to Konoha or give me a dose of painkillers and a more quick-acting poison."  Kakashi was entirely serious as he gave Tenzou the alternatives.

Furrowing his brow, Tenzou frowned. "You'll be fine, Senpai. You always are." They wouldn't be able to sleep too long, he thought. Kakashi had to sleep some since his chakra was depleted but Tenzou could take a few soldier pills and be fine. "I have some, but I'll check both... the more we have the better and who knows maybe you'll have something I don't."

He picked up his uniform and pulled a scroll from it before fishing around in Kakashi's stuff, looking for the same thing. Thankfully it was clearly marked and easy to find. Tenzou pulled both open and released them then separated the doses by type. "Almost 10 different ones. I over prepare I guess and 2 and 3 doses of several of those."

"Pull out any with purple lids and put the others back.  I can already tell this isn't any of the ones with orange, and almost everything they use takes one of those colors.  Keep them separated by type and start with #4, that's the most likely choice, and won't cause any damage if it's the wrong one." Kakashi lay down on his stomach, resting his head on his folded arms, head turned towards Tenzou.  "How familiar are you with Rock poisons?"

Nodding and doing as he was told, Tenzou pulled the cap off and shot the antivenin into Kakashi's arm. Then sat back waiting for some kind of reaction. "I'm more familiar with our own and Wind's." It wasn't that he hadn't studied each, he just had more experience with Wind's. "They use nerve based poisons doing they?"

"Mostly, yeah.  And some that are similar, but are modified to attack the chakra system instead of the nervous system.  Hopefully it's only a simple poison, and not a compound one, because some of the antidotes react with each other, and that has its own dangers.  #4 should at least partially neutralize any of the purple ones, but we'll still have to figure out which one it is through the side effects.  If it looks like I can't breathe, use #3G immediately.  You won't have long once that one kicks in, only a limited time before it's lethal.  If I get a nosebleed use #7B in a big muscle, unless I complain of a sore throat, then use #7C."

Kakashi looked directly at Tenzou.  "There are only two of us; you may hope by the end of it all that it's a nerve agent, because if it isn't then you're going to be damned glad I'm so depleted.  It's really difficult by yourself to control someone under the influence of a chakra agent, so you need to be prepared to sedate me, knock me out, or otherwise restrain me if necessary." He dropped his gaze.  "I was serious before.  If things get bad and you can't get me back to Konoha in time, just give me another poison, hell, give me several.  That's an order.  If anyone is still following us, I can't let the sharingan fall into their hands.  If you don't have time to kill me, at least take my eye."

Tenzou nodded, more an acknowledgement of the first part than the second. There really wasn't any way he could see himself obeying the order. If it were Yuugao or Hayate he _might_ have been able to do it. But, Kakashi was a different matter entirely. He wasn't even sure if they were attacked, if it was obvious they were both dying, if he'd be able to. Maybe... but it very likely take exactly that for him to do anything to hurt the man. "Can't breathe, 3G; nosebleed, 7B; sore throat, 7C..." he reiterated, forcing the instructions into his own mind.

"Those are the most likely ones.  Hopefully if it's something else, I'll still be cognizant enough to help you out.  You can't go wrong with #4 though.  If you run out of anything else, you can still use that, it just won't be as effective since it's so generalized."  Kakashi stopped, shivering and covering his eyes in pain.  "Okay, you can forget everything I told you and start searching for restraints and sedatives, because it obviously isn't a nerve agent."

Picking up Kakashi's shirt Tenzou tossed it to him and began dressing himself and packing things up. He didn't bother pulling on his armor, instead he sealed it and Kakashi's into a scroll, it would be too heavy and slow them down. He did the same with their weapons. The only things that remained out were several doses of sedatives and chakra wire. "If I cut straight through the forest it's shorter, should make it back a lot faster. But it means by passing any chance of running into anyone else or a ANBU station which could have supplies..." He muttered debating over how long the sedatives would hold out if they skipped the watch points where there would more than likely be more.

"Suppress my chakra with a seal."  The words were gritted out between tightly clenched teeth, while Kakashi lay curled into a tight ball, still covering his eye.  "Take a little longer having to concentrate like that while moving, but you can do it."  He let out a low moan and jerked as the poison slowly spread through his chakra pathways.  "If you run out of sedatives just knock me out.  Won't be the only concussion I've had this year."

Frowning Tenzou nodded and removed a pen and ink from one of the scrolls, then helped Kakashi to sit up. Sliding the man's hitai-ate down over both eyes, Tenzou pushed Kakashi's hair out of the way and painted several symbols on the pale skin.

"It'll make it harder for you to recover, doing it this way, but it should help not only block your chakra but lower your ability to use your physical strength..." Kakashi was better at seals than he was, the explanation really hadn't been necessary but Tenzou said it anyway, almost as though he was trying to reassure Kakashi that he himself would be fine, that he understood the dangers of trying to carry Kakashi home. It also held a definite note of defiance, there was no way he would leave the man behind or follow the other order he'd been given. Although, he left that part off.

He frowned, more than a little worried as he pressed his chakra into the seal. It was basically a reverse of opening a gate and had it's own dangers. The least of which was that if they were waylaid there was absolutely no way Kakashi would be able to escape not even if by some miracle he would have otherwise been able to fight off the poison. Pushing the fear aside Tenzou focused on getting the seal as tight as possible.

It felt as if a heavy blanket settled over Kakashi as Tenzou put the seal in place.  Even breathing seemed more of an effort, and he found himself unable to fight against the drowsiness of the needle's prick.  After that, there was no more than dull, floating pain and a vague notion of movement, for a long time.  Everything seemed muffled and muted, time no longer flowed smoothly, and he couldn't trust the flawed evidence of what few senses remained.

Tenzou carried Kakashi outside then went about returning things to the way they'd been when they'd stopped. He used the chakra wire to bind Kakashi's hands then tucked it into his back pouch and pulled the man's arms over his head. Then, very carefully he stood up and tested the weight. It surprised him more than a little at how light Kakashi was. Heading off in the direction he'd suggested, Tenzou stuck to the ground. He could get into the trees easily enough, given his own abilities but it would save energy and chakra if he didn't have to. Not to mention time.

Kakashi thought they were still moving, but sealed, sedated, and sick as he was, it was more than difficult to determine anything.  He couldn't even hold on to steady himself, had to just give up all control and be still, at the whim of whatever movement Tenzou made, hoping he wouldn't shift too much at once and set off a round of nausea.  The seal was the best chance they had to make it through all this safely, but it did have dangers and drawbacks.  He finally ceased his minor struggles and slumped even more bonelessly against Tenzou, only able to just hang there or lie there, he couldn't quite decide which one it was, and tried to curb his frustration and just accept whatever came.

Leaning against a tree, Tenzou swallowed a couple more soldier pills. They were down to their last sedative and still nearly a day away, despite the shortcut. To make matters worse he was feeling the exhaustion. Even without anyone tailing them, being up for so long and constantly pushing himself was starting to have it's effects.

Shifting Kakashi around a bit, Tenzou took a deep breath and moved off again. "Don't worry, Senpai I will get you home. Though if you try strangling me again I may skip the sedative and knock you out just for the hell of it." He had been more than a little grateful for the seal, even weakened the way he was, Kakashi was strong.

The seal was a constant drain on his chakra and he wasn't entirely sure he'd be able to hold it with the way Kakashi seemed to be fighting it. It wasn't a conscious thing but the his senpai's stubbornness was becoming rather painfully obvious. Spreading the sedative doses out helped somewhat but he was starting to think that he probably would have to knock Kakashi out before they got home.

Kakashi was near out of his mind with pain and frustration.  The seal and the sedatives, along with the confusion from the poison were affecting him.  He'd lost any sense of time and was suffering from the effects of prolonged sensory deprivation as well.  He felt trapped inside his own mind, and the flaring and wild fluctuations of his chakra, despite Tenzou's seal, were starting to affect him.  He imagined all sorts of wild scenarios, and hallucinated as well, not knowing what sensory input was real and what was false, and fought increasingly difficult battles with the demons inside his own head, thinking they were real enemies.

Tenzou's knees gave out and he crumpled under the extra weight of carrying someone. Very carefully he lifted Kakashi's arms over his head and laid the man beside him. His entire body shook with the effort. He laid his hand against the seal and pressed a little more chakra into it, swaying with the effort.

The last sedative had worn off over an hour ago and it had been all he could do to keep Kakashi on his back. His own chakra levels were so low he could barely remain sitting upright as he pulled the scroll out. There was no way he'd make it to the gates, he just had to hope they were close enough. He formed the hand sign that sent the flare up then had to catch himself. After the wave of dizziness passed he settled himself against Kakashi who continued to convulse from the effects of the poison until Tenzou laid his hand against the pale forehead and pushed still more chakra into the seal.

"Somebody will be here soon, Senpai... I promise." They were close enough somebody should see the signal... he hoped.

Tenzou was only vaguely aware of people moving around him, his eyes slitting open and catching glimpses of brown cloaks and white masks. "...Hound..." and "...Cat..." The words were repeated several times by the men but he couldn't make out more than that until one of them threw him over their shoulders. "Senpai..." he murmured the minute his hand left Kakashi's forehead. He struggled, trying to explain that it was easier to maintain the seal with the skin to skin contact but the words never came.

Kakashi wouldn't give up, despite his pain and growing weakness, and he shuddered, casting out with his mind, reaching for Tenzou, afraid something had happened when he couldn't reach the man who had been such a close, constantly reliable teammate through the years.

The seal seemed to weaken, and he took advantage, gathering what little chakra he had left, in preparation for one final strike to bring down on himself and whatever enemies were attacking him.  With luck the attack would injure him enough to activate the jutsu that destroyed a Konoha ANBU's body when they were damaged to the point of imminent death.  He could only assume that Tenzou had already fallen, and he sent a quick, heartfelt prayer to any deity who might be listening, hoping to ease his companion's passage to the hereafter. With a final deep breath, he pulled the last of his chakra in, and released.

There was a bright flash of white and Tenzou could feel the surge of chakra through the seal. Vaguely he heard somebody curse rather loudly and then more shuffling. Fear shot through him when he felt the connection through the seal waver and he pushed more chakra through it, then sank into oblivion.

~*~

Tenzou cracked his eyes open then immediately shut them again, wondering what possessed person thought leaving the lights on was a good idea. Every muscle in his body ached but his chakra was back up to a manageable level but he nearly panicked when he realized the seal was gone. Not even considering the fact that he probably shouldn't be out of bed, the brunet grabbed his IV stand and swung his feet over then stumbled towards the door.

A nurse sitting at the desk saw him and tried to shoo him back into the room but he shook his head and pushed her away. Then realizing she'd know where Kakashi was he turned to her, demanding she show him to the other man's room. Her protest fell short at the scowl and she grabbed a wheelchair and said she would only take him if he sat down. If it hadn't been for the fact he had no idea where Kakashi was, he'd have protested, as it was he sat. She rearranged the IV bags and then pushed him in the direction of ICU. It was both reassuring and worrying.

~*~

Kakashi was floating in limbo, not quite unconscious, but definitely not completely cognizant of anything beyond dim memories of pain and fear and confusion. He didn't think he could move, but couldn't tell if that was due to injury, restraint, or medication. Even trying to determine that much stretched his reasoning about as far as it could go. Something unpleasant pushed at the edges of thought, but he couldn't quite grasp what it was, and once more fell beneath the billowing waves and lost another battle with unconsciousness.

~*~

He was more than a little surprised when the nurse veered off into a private room, but it was hardly a relief when he saw all of the wires and blinking lights. Tenzou dismissed the nurse, scowling and not really bothering to be polite. It didn't even register with him that he was being an ass to somebody who didn't deserve it.

Wheeling himself beside Kakashi, he reached out laid a hand on one that was still far to pale. "We made it home, Senpai... and I didn't even have to knock you out," he said, a humorless laugh escaping his lips.

Kakashi faded partially into consciousness again, a small noise far too close to a whimper escaping his lips. He pulled at the arm with the IV, trying to move it, and hissing when it remained motionless, tied to the railing of his bed. He thrashed and fought as much as he could, with no more result than a nurse poking her head in as he managed to dislodge some of the sensors. She reattached the probes and wires and injected something into the line of the IV. Kakashi's struggles stilled almost instantly, although his eyes still moved frantically.

"Senpai, your safe." Tenzou shooed the nurse, who was still hovering nearby, away. The drugs were more to keep him from pulling the IVs out now than to fight off the poison. His body was already producing enough of the antidote that the doctor had discontinued dosing him with it. However, the downside was that it was causing Kakashi even more confusion and nightmares now that he wasn't as heavily drugged as before.

Kakashi turned his head a fraction toward the sound of Tenzou's voice, making a small sound somewhere low in his throat, but he remained still, no longer fighting. After a few moments, his breathing slowed and he slipped into a fitful sleep, again.

It was far too quiet in the room, his footsteps echoing as he paced across the linoleum flooring. Both Hayate and Yuugao had been by several times. They weren't the only ones though, even Sandaime-sama had come by to check on them. Nobody had asked him to leave and nurses had even brought his food there without so much as a protest. He had not intention of leaving until his senpai was conscious, until he was certain he hadn't failed the other. And until Kakashi was awake he knew better than to assume the man would be fine.

Kakashi slipped in and out of his twilight state several more times, still struggling until Tenzou made his presence known. The medics wrote on their charts and the nurses came in to replace the dislodged sensors and repair the occasional damage, as well as click their tongues over his lack of any other response. The medics put their heads together, whispering, as the struggles grew weaker, but Tenzou continued to sit loyally by his senpai's side.

Tenzou fidgeted with the flowers that Kurenai had left. They were pretty and he fed a little chakra into them to ensure they wouldn't wilt. He recognized them as being the same ones she grew in the pot that sat on the railing of her balcony, vaguely recalling that she'd said something about Kakashi giving them to her as birthday present the year before. Asuma hadn't said much of anything, just some vague reassurance that Kakashi would be fine. He wasn't sure if it was aimed at him or Kurenai though so he'd only nodded his agreement.

The nurses came and went, the medics made their rounds, the visitors came fewer and farther between. Meals still came regularly for Tenzou, and one kind nurse left a cot, pillow, and blanket for him as the days went on. Eventually they removed the restraints, and some of the wires. There were far more tubes, now, though, so it wasn't a reassuring sight. Neither was the realization that two days had gone by since Kakashi had so much as twitched an eyelid.

"I thought you said it was hardly worth noticing," Tenzou muttered dryly, sitting in the chair and staring again at the monitor's steady beep. "How is it that I was the one sliced up and end up being fine and you get a scratch and..." he growled at the unfairness of it. The only reason he'd made it out the way he had was because Kakashi had been there to watch out for him. And, of all the cuts and scrapes it was the _one_ Kakashi got that had to be laced with poison.

The only response was the whir and beep of the machines, and even that seemed muted and slow, like Kakashi's breathing, like the _drip, drip_ of the IV, like the steps of the medical personnel each time they approached the tiny room, like the _tick, tick_ of the clock on the wall, measuring out the endless hours Kakashi lay still and silent. Clean clothes and a razor magically appeared while Tenzou slept, courtesy of one of the nurses. He took a moment to wash and change, but skipped the razor until he was sure his hand was steady enough.

Two nurses came in to clean Kakashi up, and Tenzou had to bite back the growl. It seemed almost an invasion of the man's privacy even if it was necessary. The thing that bothered him the most was watching them shave the silver stubble. One of the women shot him a look that clearly said she could feel him glowering at her and wasn't impressed. It only made him more irritated and he scowled at her until they finally took their things and left.

Kakashi didn't move, didn't even murmur, now. His uncovered eye remained closed and his skin was even paler than normal, had an almost translucent quality, dry and stretched thin, pulled tight over bones that were far too prominent. From time to time the steady beep would hesitate, and Tenzou's breath would catch as he waited for the alarms to go off, but so far it hadn't happened, the pattern had continued on as if no skip or stutter-step had ever occurred.


	2. Chapter 2

Tenzou was curled up on the cot dead asleep when the screaming of one of the monitors woke him. He was so startled by it that he practically fell off the thing in his panic. It took him several moments of standing at the foot of Kakashi's bed before it even registered what was going on. A nurse came barreling in and immediately started trying to get Kakashi to lay back down and stop yanking wires and tubes free.

Shaking himself out of his stupor he walked over and clicked off the monitor which immediately drew the anger of the woman. Instead of getting irritated with her Tenzou very calmly shooed her out the door, telling her he'd get Kakashi to put the things back if she just left. He suspected she only relented in order to go fetch a doctor, but honestly didn't care since it would take her at least thirty minutes to find one.

Sighing he locked the door and turned back to where Kakashi sat still pulling things out. Walking over he grabbed the wrist with the IV to keep the man from pulling it out. "Leave the IV." The rest, as far as Tenzou was concerned, weren't important if Kakashi was awake.

Kakashi managed a very weak glare, but did as Tenzou asked. "I thought you were gone... I couldn't feel your chakra anywhere." He said it as if it explained everything that had happened since he'd been wounded. He very deliberately pulled the tape from his cheek and dropped the oxygen to the side of the bed with a look of disgust most people reserved for vermin. "I'm glad you aren't."

Smiling, Tenzou nodded his understanding. "I panicked when I woke up realized the seal was gone. Think I scared the nurse that was on duty then. One of the doctors explained later that they had to take it down because you kept using my chakra to attack the staff and it was evidently also a problem for me since my chakra levels were so low." He laughed a little, realizing the humor in it now that he wasn't as worried that Kakashi wouldn't make it. At the time, he'd been infuriated because he thought even that little bit of chakra might keep the other safe.

Kakashi's visible eyebrow raised into his hair. "I don't remember any of that.  The last thing I really remember was..." Kakashi paused and thought for a moment. "I guess the last thing I remember was the cabin during the mission, when you told me to take my shirt off. Anything else that happened since then is a blur, and I'm sure half of that is fevered imaginings." His brow furrowed as he tried to remember anything else, and he slumped a bit, already tired just from sitting up those few minutes.

Tenzou frowned slightly. "Good then you can't yell at me for not obeying orders." He hadn't forgotten that Kakashi had virtually told him that he should kill him if he couldn't get them back to the village. Or that really... he hadn't. It had been pure luck that the ANBU team had found them, since the flare he'd sent up had died before the men had seen it. "Don't bother ordering me to do that ever again either, because there is no way I'm ever following it."

Kakashi tilted his head, trying to remember what Tenzou was referring to, but it was too much, he couldn't.  He could imagine, though, knew what he'd tell the man to do in a difficult situation, realized Tenzou must have refused, brought him back to Konoha, anyway, and at the cost of his own health, apparently. He'd have to start carrying a suicide capsule, or set a jutsu in place, just in case. He wouldn't let Tenzou endanger himself or the village again.  "I won't need to," Kakashi left it at that cryptic statement, not bothering to explain.

He didn't miss the decisive tone or obvious implication. "I know what you're thinking, Senpai." Tenzou said, shooting the man a rather wounded look. "If you did that with a seal...." he said not finishing the threat.

Kakashi couldn't hide the flush.  He was too tired and as pale as he was and without a mask, he had no chance.  "You disobeyed a direct order, Tenzou... I'm not some overly emotional, melodramatic teen.  Yes, the ANBU jutsu will ensure our bodies aren't discovered by the enemy if we die on a mission.  But what if we don't die?  Are you willing to let the sharingan fall into enemy hands if I'm captured?  Just because you stubbornly decide you can't have my blood on your hands?  Or are you willing to let yourself die, endanger yourself in some foolish notion that I don't know what I'm doing, that I have some death wish.  I found my father, after he killed himself.  I saw Yondaime fall after he sealed the Kyuubi.  Suicide is _not_ something to be entered into lightly.  Do you think I don't know that?  But if it's required of me for the safety of my teammates or the village I _will_ do it, and it would be wrong of you to deny it." Although weak, Kakashi's voice was as cold as Tenzou had ever heard it.  There was no doubt he was entirely serious.

Releasing the hold he had on Kakashi's wrist, actually surprised he was still holding it, Tenzou moved beside the cot, mechanically folding the blankets. "If it were one of us, you know you'd drag us back. Do you really expect us not to do the same?" He didn't really wait for a response before continuing though. "If you're alive there's a chance of being rescued. And, with or without the sharingan it's still your duty to fight to get back here."

He set the blankets down, and leaned against the wall. "Sandaime-sama would disappointed in me if I'd simply given up. It's what he's always saying... about the will fire..." Tenzou frowned, not bothering to look at Kakashi, not wanting to see disappoint or irritation that he refused to accept what his senpai said, like he always did.

"Damnit, Tenzou, that's not what I meant. I never give up, and I've never seen you give up, doubt you even would know how, but..." Kakashi looked down, couldn't meet Tenzou's gaze. "My father killed himself to regain honor for me and the village. My sensei, my Hokage sacrificed himself to save the village. One teammate sacrificed himself directly to save my life, insisted I take his eye from his still living body to replace the one lost when I wanted to put the mission before another teammate's life. That other teammate sacrificed herself saving me from my own stupidity after Yondaime died. I won't let another teammate die for me, Tenzou. I thought you fucking died." Kakashi collapsed back against the bed, curling up in a small ball, turning his face away from his comrade.

Tenzou winced, guilt twisting him up inside for upsetting Kakashi when the man was already so weak. Walking across the room he crouched in front of his senpai, not actually looking up. "I'm sorry," he said simply, not explaining what he meant by it.

Kakashi refused to look at Tenzou. "Don't be.  I'm as responsible as anyone else for teaching you not to leave a teammate behind.  I know it's wrong of me to be upset with you for this, especially when you know damn good and well I'd never leave one of you.  But when I thought you were dead... I don't remember much of what happened after I got poisoned, but I remember that fear, that anguish, the thought that I killed another teammate again to keep my miserable, unworthy self alive.  I don't ever want to feel that again, Tenzou.  And somehow knowing it was you... it was all so much worse."  Kakashi's voice trailed away brokenly.

The man always seemed to surprise him with the way he thought. Tenzou had trouble wrapping his head around Kakashi's logic, it was flawed but so perfectly rationalized that he often had trouble understanding it or arguing against it. This time he could see it; although he still wasn't sure if he could convince the other of his error.

Looking up at the only person he adored more than Sandaime, he tried to remember the words that had been told to him when he'd felt like he was nothing, just some copy of somebody who was. "No one who is willing to fight for..." he paused, unwilling to say _to die for,_ "...Konoha is unworthy. You've proven that as much as anyone." Kakashi gave everything he had, always had, since he was even younger than Tenzou. It wasn't why Tenzou admired him, but it was part of it. The man was something he tried to live up to, even more than Nindaime-sama. "If..." _I had died, if come to that..._ "...it would have been worth it for you, _Kakashi._ " He smiled, the relief finally sinking in. _You who never looked at me with fear or awe or expectations, only... understanding._

Kakashi closed his eyes, wouldn't look at Tenzou, still. "I wish I could believe those were more than pretty words to make me feel better." Doubt was very obvious in his voice, as well as a hefty dose of self-disgust. "I'm really glad you didn't, Tenzou. I don't ever want to know you did that for me."

"Maybe you're right, maybe they are nothing more than pretty words, but I doubt it. I guess I have to believe them even if they are. I have to trust that Sandaime-sama never says things he doesn't mean," Tenzou said softly, shifting to his knees as he leaned on the bed his head resting on his arms. "I was the only one who survived and I guess I have no choice but to believe my life was worth something even if it was at the cost of theirs. On some level I owe everything to one man who died for this village and another who betrayed that. But, on another I owe it to the others... the ones who died." He didn't usually mention his _siblings_ even if they were as much on his mind as Nindaime-sama and Orochimaru. "Because if not for what the medics learned from there deaths, I might have died as well. So, I have to make their deaths worth my life, I have to make those words mean something, even if they are nothing more than a pretty lie."

He reached a hand out to touch the IV line sticking out of Kakashi's wrist, a little blood had backfed into the tube discoloring it. "I don't want to add to your pain, Kakashi. But for you, more than anyone, I would die to keep you safe." It was a simple fact and it made him feel more than a little guilty but he wasn't about to lie and say he wouldn't do it again. He wouldn't pretend the man meant less to him than he did.

Kakashi's eyes snapped open and he looked directly at the other man. "Don't you understand, Tenzou? Everyone I've ever cared for most died, for the village or for me.  I'm tired of the death. I don't want to lose you, especially not knowing it was for me...  I don't want your death on my conscience, too." He looked down at the hand touching his, unable to keep the picture of it, pale, still, lifeless from his mind.  It was so wrong to him, hurt so much just imagining it that he gasped, his breath coming faster. "Don't die for me and Konoha, Tenzou.  Do as you always have, and live for the village."

Rubbing his thumb over the bruised wrist, Tenzou shook his head, realizing there really was no way to make the man see that his death, no matter the circumstances, would never be anyone's fault, let alone Kakashi's. He sighed, frustrated that he couldn't make Kakashi understand and too drained to try anymore now that he was certain the other was fine.

"How touching.  Excuse me while I go throw up from all the excess sweetness."  Neither had noticed one of the nurses returning.  "If this is an example of how much our current crop of ANBU notices, I give it a year before Orochimaru or another enemy overruns the village." She held a set of keys before Tenzou's face, and jangled them loudly, taunting him with them.  "I was a nurse before you even entered the academy.  Did you really think you were going to get away with that so easily?" The man scowled at her as though to say he really had believed that he was going to.

She walked around to the other side of the bed.  "So, Hatake.  Awake, finally, I see. About time.  Now we can get _this_ one," she gestured with her head towards Tenzou, "to do something other than mope around waiting for you.  You two make quite the pair, don't you?"  She sighed, shaking her head over them, like two errant schoolboys, and they looked at each other, not a little confused, as she adjusted his IV and cleaned up the debris of his rampage against the wires and tubing. "The doctor should be in here soon, then we can get you out of here and he can stop scaring my staff by glaring at them every time they lay a hand on what he so evidently sees as his," she said smirking.

They flushed in tandem at her comments, and she laughed.  "Good.  You're both too pale right now and could use some color in your cheeks."  A disturbing twinkle in her eyes made them worry just which set she was referring to, though, and they were more than happy to comply with anything she asked.

She wasn't even finished with taking Kakashi's vitals before the doctor came in. The old man looked the chart over while making various noises and faces as though he was thinking. "I don't suppose I stand much chance of actually keeping you in that bed now that you're awake?" he asked, giving Kakashi a look that clearly displayed his doubt.

"If you're giving me a choice, no. And if you're not giving me a choice, the odds are still good your answer's no. Now, when can I leave?" Kakashi didn't particularly feel like being overly polite. He felt miserable, and as he saw it, the best cure for that was getting the hell out of the hospital as soon as possible, with or without the doctor's blessing.

The doctor sighed and shook his head, muttering something about _'damn stubborn shinobi'_ then turned to look at Tenzou instead of answering Kakashi's question. "You're the one terrorizing my nurses and refusing to leave?"

"No one asked me to leave," he replied stubbornly, glaring and looking almost as irritated as Kakashi.

"With that expression, there are very few who would," the man laughed. "Well, I suppose... if you'll see him home and make sure he has someone to watch over him for the next few days, he can go. Just don't go over-extending yourselves, you're both very lucky to be alive."

Tenzou nodded, slightly irritated by the reminder.

The doctor scribbled across a set of papers on his clipboard and turned back to Kakashi.  "I suppose you can go, but there are conditions.  As I told your friend, here, you only go with supervision.  I've heard about you, you'd be back here against your will in two days if I let you go alone.  You _will_ follow procedure and leave the hospital in a wheelchair.  I'll even let your friend push it, if he's up to it. But..." The doctor paused, knowing this was the sticking point.

"But?"  Kakashi narrowed his eyes, knowing he wouldn't like the final stipulation at all.

"You'll come back in three days for a checkup.  If you don't agree, you don't leave, and you'll still be here three days from now.  If you don't come back, I'll send Nurse Ratched here with a squad of ANBU to retrieve you." It was a tossup who glared harder at him, Nurse "Ratched" or Kakashi.

Finally Kakashi nodded and the doctor handed over the papers.

"Here you go. Take these to the front desk and you're all clear and free to go. Don't forget.  Wheelchair.  Checkup in three days.  Got it?"

Kakashi almost growled. "Fine."

The moment the doctor left, Tenzou retrieved the wheelchair he'd been stuck with the first day and a half from the corner. "We should get out of here before they change their minds," he said, unfolding the chair.

"I don't know how you managed to convince the doctor that you can watch over this one.  That's like asking the fox to guard the henhouse, if you ask me." She slapped away Kakashi's hand as he started to rip the IV free. "Let me do it, unless you _want_ it to bruise up even more? Honestly, not all of us here are the 'bad guys.' I had a son, a few years older than you.  You're a lot like him, I think, both of you.  The type to do anything for your comrades without thinking.  Luckily, things turned out better for you two than it did for him.  Take care of each other and make sure it stays that way, you hear me?"

Surprisingly soft and gentle hands eased the needle from Kakashi's arm, bandaging it quickly and efficiently. She handed a spare uniform to Kakashi.  "It's probably a little big on you.  You need to put some meat on your bones.  Hopefully if I have to see you again it will fit you a little better next time. Get dressed and I'll be back with your meds so you can leave." She left quietly, pulling the door behind her.

Tenzou watched her leave and wondered if she was the one who'd left the cot for him then decided she probably was and smiled, shaking his head. "I think I actually like her better than the other nurses," he said lightly, amused. It helped that the other nurses were young vain little things that for the most part only seemed to show up when it was time for them to fondle the otherwise helpless copy-nin. After a moment he turned back to Kakashi and offered a hand, wanting to help but even more reluctant to insist now that his own feelings had been so blatantly thrown out there.

Kakashi was quiet and let Tenzou assist him, at least partially because he realized just how weak he still was, even though it hurt to admit it.  He was still mulling over his conversation with Tenzou and the nurse's words, and everything jumbled together in his head enough to give him a headache if he tried too hard to sort any of it out properly.  The only thing he could really grasp was that Tenzou was still here, and Kakashi wanted him to stay.

Neither really said anything and Tenzou kept trying to figure out what he was supposed to say. The nurse who checked Kakashi out was one of the younger ones. She very deliberately leaned over the counter to take the papers, showing off far more cleavage than was absolutely necessary. He was surprised by his own self-restraint and amazingly didn't so much as glare at her. It helped that a good part of his attention was elsewhere and the rest was trying to come up with the least embarrassing way to start a conversation that right then made an S-rank mission sound easy.

The minute they were off the hospital grounds he helped Kakashi out of the wheelchair, it was obvious both detested the thing and neither was willing to put up with it longer than they necessary. Free of the burden, Tenzou cast a henge so anyone not looking would only see him and Kakashi walking. Most of the rest would be polite enough not to bother looking past it, and he hoped anyone left after that simply wouldn't make mention of it. He was glad that it didn't take very long to get to Kakashi's place because while the time to think wasn't a bad thing, he thought too much might be.

Kakashi released the seal on his apartment and opened the door, deactivating the traps.  It took more chakra than he liked, but he supposed they'd have more than enough time for him to recuperate. Kakashi sagged against the wall.  "We made it home... they didn't stop us." He sounded giddy from disbelief... and more tired than Tenzou could be happy about. Kakashi couldn't hide his smile of relief, not even behind his mask.

"Let's get you to bed before you pass out and I have to take you back to the hospital. I don't think we'd escape a second time," he said leading Kakashi towards the man's bedroom. He intended to keep the other as far away from that place as possible and not just because of the flirty little things the place labeled as staff. The place made him feel helpless, always had since he'd spent the first couple years of his life in one or in something akin to one.

"You wouldn't really, would you?" Kakashi sounded a little hurt by the threat, but for once he didn't protest, whether because he took it seriously or was just too tired, it was hard to tell. He moved slowly, but he did manage to make it, mostly under his own power. He wasn't willingly going back to the hospital any time soon, if he had any say in it, and maybe even if he didn't.

Tenzou sighed and shook his head. "Not if I can help it, no. I don't like being there either." Although, he didn't say that he would if came to that, even if it was just as true. He was almost reluctant to let the other go, the contact more reassuring that the other was fine than any other proof. But, when they reached the bed and Kakashi was sitting he did, then stood there uncertain for a moment what he should do. "Do you want something to eat?" he asked finally.

Kakashi shook his head. "Maybe a glass of water, though, if you don't mind." He watched Tenzou go, eyes following, waiting until he returned. He hated to admit it, but he didn't really want to let the other man out of his sight. He'd thought he was gone, and it was almost as if he didn't watch closely enough it might happen again.

Pulling a cup down, he filled it and grabbed a box of crackers just in case Kakashi had only said no because he thought he should. Walking back into the room Tenzou handed the stuff over and sat on the end of the bed, not wanting the other to feel like he was looming.  He considered what the nurse had said and wondered what Kakashi thought of it. Then he wondered if he should say something, if he should simply admit that it was true and risk their assumption about the feelings being mutual between them was wrong... or if he should act as though nothing had been said at all. The only thing he wouldn't do was lie about it, he simply didn't lie to Kakashi, not ever.

Kakashi had to ask. If he didn't and he fell asleep - alone, always alone - and woke up and Tenzou somehow was gone again, if all this was a dream, he had to ask. "Did what she said upset you? Was she wrong?" It was hard enough to ask that. He wished he dared ask Tenzou to stay with him, to keep the nightmares at bay.

Tenzou visibly relaxed at the question, the choice taken from him... Kakashi asking... made things simple. "No. Even if she had been, and she's not, it wouldn't have bothered me." He smiled, not quite daring to really actually look at the other. "Does... that bother you?" Always before, he tried to either cover the emotion or convince himself it was simple admiration. But, it had already been getting harder to do and now it was impossible, had been since he'd woken up and realized the seal was broken. Somehow right then, no matter what Kakashi said he knew he'd accept it, deal with it, even if it hurt.

Kakashi shook his head, "No, it doesn't. Maybe it should, but I can't seem to feel anything but relief or joy or... I don't know, something. I guess I've known for a while, but I didn't want to think about it, because I didn't know how you felt. But when I thought you were gone, it hurt too much, Stay with me, Tenzou, please, while I sleep. I don't want to wake and find you still being here was all a dream. Stay." His voice cracked on the final word.

"Of course, _Senpai,_ " he said looking up, the word as much an endearment as any could be. Tenzou smiled and shook his head very slightly before very hesitantly sliding his hand over to take Kakashi's. "I told you, not even you could order me away from your side." Although it was only partially true. Because there was no way for him to be there all the time, missions would call one or both away eventually. But more importantly, right then, if Kakashi had asked him to leave he would have. Though it may very well have killed him to do so. "Kami, I'm glad you're okay." The words were barely above a whisper.

Kakashi closed his eye for a very long moment, as if veiling his thoughts.  "We're both okay, we made it home."  Maybe just as importantly, Kakashi made it back to himself once they got there.  He wasn't normally one to give up, but he'd been weak long enough it almost didn't matter if he fought or not, and even with Tenzou's help, traveling the short distance from the hospital had used up reserves he'd be better off using in recovery.  Now he just lay there quietly, holding Tenzou's hand as tightly as he could, refusing to let go, listening to every breath the man took.

He shivered, both from the chill air in the apartment and as he once again realized how close he'd come to losing another precious person, and just how much this loss would have hurt. Even close to sleep, he began to panic a little, breathing far too quickly and tensing his exhausted body instead of relaxing, resting, recuperating, regaining his strength.

Tenzou didn't miss change in breathing or how the grip on his hand tightened. Sliding closer, he pulled the other against him wanting to ease the tension from the other's form, and needing the reassurance that Kakashi really was alright for himself as well. "We're fine," he assured then laughed, the sound awkward in the strange silence of the apartment. "More than fine really..." _Because I have you now._ And to him the fact that they'd nearly lost each other seemed almost insignificant next to that one simple fact.

He pushed Kakashi down on the bed then pulled the blankets haphazardly around them. They could both use the sleep if either could get any. It was still early evening but he doubted that it really mattered much since he'd barely slept at the hospital and it was obvious Kakashi was exhausted even now.

Kakashi wanted to nod and agree, but he couldn't quite, and he tried to hide it by pressing closer, finally gaining some comfort from the warm, solid, oh-so-real and _alive_ feel of the other's body.  He repeated his earlier plea, not caring how it sounded as he gave up the fight and let his eyes drift closed. "Stay." He held on to Tenzou's hand even as sleep claimed him. Some of the tension remained, a slight stiffness of body, small lines around his eyes and mouth, but he was willing to relax into sleep and lie still in Tenzou's arms.  It was a start.  It would have to do for now.

It was strange, being curled up with Kakashi asleep in his arms. But, at the same time it felt normal and comforting and perfect. He brushed his free hand over Kakashi's back, trying to sooth the tension still remaining in tight muscles of the other's shoulders. It was calming even to him and eventually he drifted off himself.

 

~*~

 

Kakashi snapped awake from sleep, heart pounding furiously in his chest, drenched in sweat, the nightmare fading already, leaving only the irrational fear and intensity behind.  He took a deep breath, feeling the comforting presence of Tenzou at his back, willing himself to relax, but not quite able to fall back asleep.  He lost himself in thought, musing on what this new relationship might bring, steadfastly refusing to think on the near loss, not in his current mood. He watched the shadows of swaying trees move across the floor and walls, and measured the passage of time as the sliver of moon crossed the small square of window, and still he lay awake, exhausted but unable to sleep.

Tenzou didn't know what dragged him from his sleep, it might have been as Kakashi simply shifting his weight slightly. Whatever it was he was awake and could tell Kakashi was as well. "You should be asleep," he said, his hands sliding around the slim waist and pulling the other a little closer.

"So should you," Kakashi countered, but his protest lacked any hint of argument, and he gave up trying to shift the comment away from himself.  Tenzou knew better, knew him too well for it to work. "I was. But then I woke up."  Too thin shoulders shrugged against Tenzou's chest, signaling that Kakashi didn't want to go into the details of his waking, which of course told the other man he'd not come awake easily, had been up far too long already, most likely.

"I see... so then what's keeping you awake?" The question wasn't one he couldn't have guessed the answer to, but he asked it anyway since it was the only response he could really think of. It was the logical response and made perfect sense. And, even though his question was logical he didn't seem to be listening to what logic dictated since his hands were snaking under Kakashi's shirt to play across the smooth plains of muscle. If he'd been aware of it he'd probably have stopped or rationalized it as wanting to reassure himself that Kakashi was there and okay. He might have been right on that, though it was an entirely unconscious act.

It might have been dark enough for Kakashi's flush to not be visible, but the heat of his skin gave him away. "Thinking.  Sometimes it's hard to just turn off my brain after a mission. Even if I'm tired, want to sleep, need to sleep, I can't, can't distract myself enough to drift off, or if I do..." he paused, hating sharing his weakness, although theoretically he knew every shinobi dealt with it at some point or another, eventually. "If I do, sometimes I can't stay asleep. Come back awake."  He refused to acknowledge it and give it substance by coming right out and admitting to the nightmares. Especially when allusion would work as well with Tenzou.  He knew to look underneath the underneath. He calmed, though, as Tenzou touched him, gentle hands ghosting across his skin, soothing jangled nerves with the slow movements.

Tenzou slid his hand to Kakashi's hip rubbing it gently over the man's side while the fingers of his other hand dragged through the silver hair just below the man's belly button.  He understood too well how that went, had already guessed at the answer even. Still, it was nice that Kakashi at least felt comfortable enough with him to tell him. "Mmhmm... I find reading rather dull history books helps," he said burying his face against the other's neck. It wasn't his only method of getting back to sleep, but it sounded less perverted and far less pathetic than saying he jerked off to get himself to go to sleep. The thought though made him aware of exactly how cuddly he was being. His hands went still for a moment before decided if Kakashi hadn't pulled away or otherwise baulked at the actions, it was probably because he didn't mind.

"I have a series of tactical treatises from Suna that would..." Kakashi began, but then gasped and trailed off as Tenzou moved against his neck, breath warm against the sensitive skin. The man was pressed close against him, touching his skin, almost kissing his neck, and he couldn't hold back the low noise, somewhere between a moan and a whimper as his too-active mind went haywire with imaginings. He shifted slightly, almost wriggling, sighing as he settled closer against the other hard body.

The sound was as much an invitation as the way Kakashi was all but snuggling up to him, and Tenzou nipped softly the pale skin, his hand dragging a little rougher over the line of Kakashi's hip. "That does sound rather boring..." He bit down again, harder this time. "I'll help you find it if you want," he offered before lapping at the spot he'd bitten, his fingers sliding down to tease just above the waist band of the other's pants.

"Mmm, yeahhh..." Kakashi didn't even know what he was agreeing to, beyond more of Tenzou's hands and mouth on his body, and he arched, pale hands pulling Tenzou hard against him, before starting their own explorations. "Ahhh, Tenzou..." Kakashi whispered the name brokenly, shuddering at another lick at the base of his throat.

Pushing the shirt up a little further, Tenzou dragged blunt nails down the man's side. "Too many clothes..." he murmured between nibbling and sucking on Kakashi's throat, half growling at the way the fabric slid back down as he ground his hips against the other. He shoved his fingers just under the line of fabric of the man's pants to trace circles in the hollow of one pale hip.

"Nggghh, please..." Kakashi traced the muscled arms and shoulders, nails digging in each time Tenzou molested his neck.  If he were more able to think, he might have been upset that Tenzou was able to think and act and speak so much more coherently, but it was difficult to think or be upset because it all just felt too good.  He pushed his hips against Tenzou's, gasping at the hot hardness that met his unthinking thrust.

Tenzou groaned, his hands going still for a moment before he managed to regain a thread of control. Then, holding Kakashi tightly against him with one hand he ground against the man and slipped his hand under the waistband, brushing the back of his fingers against Kakashi's length. A comment about wanting to help the other sleep caught in his throat.

Kakashi shuddered, and his head fell back, exposing his throat even more, an act of incredible intimacy for any shinobi, showing the perfect trust he had in Tenzou.  His breathing was harsh and labored, voice rough and husky with lust. "Tenzou...." He panted some more as he moved his hips, trapping the other man's hand between them, slipping his hand between them as well. "In the drawer... please, Tenzou."

Planting light kisses over the pale neck pulled his hand free so he could lean on his elbow a bit better. He reached for drawer with his other hand, looking up long enough that he could see what he was doing, removed the bottle that lay inside and slid it closed again. Only after looking down at Kakashi's face and seeing the dark circles under the man's eyes did it occur to him that they probably shouldn't, and then he hesitated. "You're tired... we shouldn't..."

Kakashi pushed forward, demandingly, but coupled with the needy sounds that fell from his lips, it seemed far less aggressive.  Kakashi fumbled with their pants, pulling them open and tugging them down enough to take both their lengths in his hand. "Not too tired, apparently," he gasped out, leaning forward to nip at Tenzou's shoulder. "I'm fine."

Despite his own words, Tenzou caved immediately, groaning at hand on his cock and dropping his shoulder as he arched his neck, letting Kakashi do as he pleased. The hand still clutching the lube resting on one pale hip even as he thrust up into the welcoming grip.

Kakashi moaned, grinding and moving his hand up and down, all the while sucking and biting at Tenzou's collarbone. He pulled away just enough to gasp out "The lube..." His legs fell open, a silent plea.

Tenzou fumbled with the cap, his brain not entirely functioning properly. He poured a small amount into his hand, letting it warm for a second before slipping his hand between Kakashi's legs. If he'd thought about it, he _might_ have questioned it but since it was Kakashi who was asking he didn't. And, it was both because he rarely questioned anything the said or asked or ordered and because he rarely did so because it _was_ Kakashi. His fingers slid over the heated skin to tease man's tightly puckered hole.

Kakashi arched, pushing forward, still teasing Tenzou's shoulder and collarbone and neck with his teeth.  He rubbed his thumb across their tips, smearing the drops of liquid together over both of them. "Ngghhh, Tenzou..." He thrust hard, grinding and pulling Tenzou roughly against him.  "Please." Despite the word, it wasn't a request.  As always, Kakashi was a contradiction, swinging from ordered pleas to pleading orders with barely a breath in between.

Between gasp and moans, the brunet slipped finger inside at the rather demanding _request,_ rubbing the lube around as much as possible before pushing a second in. It was obvious even to Tenzou's lust clouded mind that Kakashi was generally the one on top, he'd known it before but now he was certain. The fact helped drag him somewhat back to his senses and he did what he could to focus on stretching Kakashi.

Kakashi had to force himself not to writhe, to impale himself further on Tenzou's fingers.  Even just two were stretching him, making him feel full, not quite burning and painful, never with Tenzou, he was far too steady and considerate for that, but definitely far more than he was used to, and he shuddered, caressing Tenzou's face, letting his fingers tangle in the dark hair.  "I want you, Tenzou.  We both know I'm tired, but that's not the only reason.  I... just... _Please..._ " The plea this time was still forceful, but heavily tinged with need, as well.

"I know Senpai," Tenzou murmured, planting a light, brief kiss on Kakashi's lips. The act was softer than the needy groping of him prepping Kakashi He nodded his understanding again, then slid a third finger in, wanting to stretch Kakashi as much as possible. The man was tight though and he wasn't entirely sure that even three fingers was going to stretch Kakashi enough that he wouldn't come the moment he pushed himself into the tight, hot hole. Even thinking about it made him shiver.

Finally, he slid his fingers out, deciding that delaying was actually making it worse. He groped around for the lube he'd dropped and flipped the top open with his thumb. Then, pushing the other's hand away he dribbled a good amount on Kakashi's erection and dropped it again. Wrapping his fingers around the twitching member, he stroked his hand up and down coating his hand in the stuff in the process.

Reluctantly he pulled his hand away and slid it over his own erection, the lube mixing with the precum as he coated himself. Then, panting, he slid his hand back between Kakashi's legs, rubbing the remainder over warmth of Kakashi's skin.

"I want this... want you..." he whispered the words as he lined himself up with the tight ring of muscle that was hot and slick from his fingers. He'd wanted Kakashi for so long it really didn't matter to him if it was him fucking Kakashi or Kakashi fucking him so long as it _was_ Kakashi. After a moment, he pressed his hips forwards, the tip of his cock slid in with surprising ease and then the muscles tightened and Tenzou had to stop moving just to keep from coming.

Kakashi gasped as Tenzou stretched him wide, entered him, and he was full, almost too much, but it was perfect, what he wanted and needed, because it was Tenzou and they were here, and alive, and together.  Tenzou's length was pressed against his sweet spot, and he shifted slightly, crying out as the angle changed, stimulating him even more.  He knew he couldn't last long, but despite a fleeting wish it could go on forever, he knew there would be more times.  They _were_ together, now. And as they pressed close to each other and Kakashi was pressed closer to the edge, his muscles tightened around Tenzou, until they were both gasping and barely moving, prolonging it.

Tenzou held still, attempting to calm his ragged breathing. But, as Kakashi relaxed around him, the slight pain at the tightness, that was holding his desire in check eased with it until there was nothing except the simple pleasurable tightness. Moaning, he pressed his hips closer, his cock slipping slowly inside until he was buried so deeply in the man that his balls rested against Kakashi's ass. He opened his mouth to tell his _'lover'_ exactly how good it felt but the only thing that slid past his lips was a half-growled groan of pleasure.

Kakashi gasped and arched as Tenzou bottomed out, brushing his prostate, and moaned wantonly as his groan vibrated through him as well, and as much as he tried to relax for Tenzou, he couldn't help the spasms, the tightening, the tensing as each new shock thundered through him until he was shaking and writhing in Tenzou's embrace, whispering and crying near incoherently, so close to breaking. "Oh gods, _please_ , Tenzou..."

Pulling back until only the smallest amount of him remained inside, the circle of muscle pulsing around curve of the tip. Then, with the same achingly slow motion as before, afraid if he moved faster he'd come, Tenzou thrust inside.

He arched backwards, panting and trying to push the fuzzy feeling from his mind. The attempt was hopeless and his eyes slid closed, gasped and pulled back again. His hips jerked forward, a little faster and harder than before as his control quickly slipped from his grasp. It was too much and sent shivers across his skin, his body tightening as he gasped. Tenzou's resolve shattered and he rocked his back and thrust again, falling into a natural but broken rhythm.

Kakashi wasn't sure how much more he could take.  As much as he didn't want it to end, the pleasure was near unbearable, and his fingers slowly wrapped around himself, stroking in uncoordinated counterpoint to Tenzou's thrusts. Within moments he felt the heat and heaviness gathering in his belly, knowing his release was imminent.   Tenzou grasped his hips firmly with one hand, hitting his prostate dead on as he kissed his shoulder roughly, and Kakashi stiffened, Tenzou's name a broken cry between them.

The tight, pulsing heat as Kakashi clenched around him was too much when everything else had already been too much. Tenzou's hips jerked forward as the muscles contracted around him drawing the cum from him. He shuddered and nearly collapsed on top of Kakashi, catching himself by locking an elbow. He slid the hand down Kakashi's side as he thrust weakly into the man, riding out the sensations. "Mmm..." Tenzou blinked, wearily.

Kakashi trembled a bit more with the aftershocks, pressing close to Tenzou as he slowly returned to some semblance of awareness.  His entire body felt drained and boneless and he could only make a small nod. Any more seemed too much effort.  He couldn't stop a yawn, or the small satisfied grin that followed.

Sliding himself out, Tenzou shifted his weight to lay beside Kakashi. He snuggled close, smearing the sticky mess that was covering his and Kakashi's stomachs. As much as he didn't want to leave either of them covered in it, since it was sticky and probably wouldn't dry all the way and what did would itch, he didn't really want to move, not even for a moment.

Kissing his lover's forehead, the brunet made a quick hand sign and a vine crept out of the floor, snake across it and into the bathroom for a moment before returning with a damp towel. Tenzou took it and let the vine sink back into the wood of Kakashi's floor. He did what he could to get them both relatively clean then dropped the towel over the side of the bed and pulled Kakashi against him again.

The other man was already half asleep and Tenzou could feel it tugging at his consciousness. He brushed the silver hair back and planted a kiss on Kakashi's forehead before squirming a little closer and shifting down so he could bury his head against the man's chest.

With the brush of lips against his forehead, Kakashi whispered "Thank you," before his eyes drifted closed. Pale arms held Tenzou close even as he gave in willingly to the lure of slumber. Tenzou was close, and his solid warmth would keep the nightmares at bay.


End file.
